At age 35, I made a huge personal discovery. I liken it to the discovery that the Apostle Paul came to as he described a war occurring within his body.
Common English Bible (CEB)
21 So I find that, as a rule, when I want to do what is good, evil is right there with me. 22 I gladly agree with the Law on the inside, 23 but I see a different law at work in my body. It wages a war against the law of my mind and takes me prisoner with the law of sin that is in my body.
Before I begin to alarm friends with my subject line, I must describe the paralysis I am referencing. This paralysis is a mental one stemming from irrational fear. It paralyses good thoughts and actions both from being given and from being received.
Another blogger, Tim Gallen, of http://dailygallen.com, writes :
“the ironic thing about living in constant fear is that it’s not really living at all.
when fear rules your heart and mind and soul, you don’t live. you merely exist. i’ve dubbed this existence via fear floating through life. and i have done plenty of floating through my own life, just existing. failing to live.
fear is powerful. this isn’t too surprising, considering it is a tool of satan’s to keep us separated from god’s love and the true life he offers us in jesus.
but even if you’re not a believer, fear still burrows deep inside and establishes a foothold in your heart. fear paralyzes you from living.
i used to believe in fearlessness.
i used to believe that you could get to a point where fear could never touch or affect you again. that you could be fearless.
all you had to do was conquer fear. overcome it. vanquish it like a knight slays a dragon.
i used to believe all that.
but that’s not the way it is.
fear never goes away. ever.
it skulks around your heart and mind, always waiting for an opening to dig inside. and it will. eventually. it always does.
but we can keep it from establishing a foothold. keep it from moving in for good. keep it from paralyzing us. keep it from killing us.
what we must do is play the landlord of our hearts and minds and evict the bum as fast as we can.
but how do we start the eviction process?
by doing exactly that. starting. acting. doing. living.
it is so simple it’s silly. we simply ignore the fear that tries to shake us and proceed with doing what we want to do anyway. proceed with living.
is this easy?
hell no. but it’s possible. i’ve done it. it’s taken several years, but i did it.
so have everybody else who followed their dreams despite that little whisper in their hearts.
fear is powerful. and though we cannot truly overcome or defeat it, we can push past it, ignore it, and succeed in spite of it.”
For myself, fear was produced by or during times that were undesirable. Instances such as when my business venture took a turn for the worse, learning of my ex wife’s infidelity and looming divorce, etc. Other instances were when I was confronted about my opinions, faith, words, or actions.
Early in life somewhere I began to allow myself to fear the worst so I would not be disappointed with life’s situations. If I feared the worst, it likely would not happen that way and I could be happy with whatever came. This rationale seemed good at the time, but has allowed a foothold to fear. It has altered my outlook. Hope seems out-of-touch.
New International Version (NIV)
12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
If i had back all of the years lost in worry and fear, wow. I choose to live , truly live.
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/connortarter/4754231502/”>Connor Tarter</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>